a few seconds from you
by poppybiersack01
Summary: what if you lost it all , whyle looking for a home ?


_**Four-five seconds ...**_

I was walking around in the strrets, not knowing how i felt , where i was going , what to do ...  
"i think i've had enough , i migth get a little drunk ..."

"I say what's on my mind , i migth do a little time..."

"cause all of my kindness , is taken for weakness..."

Later that day i had an argument with my father , just like always since my mother died when i was 10.

I am someone who always says what he thinks and thinks what he says . And that doesn't suit my father's personality .  
Taugh this time it went to far ...

_-What do you mean you are gay ?! _  
_-It means what it means dad ! I have been like this the whole time ! _  
_-No ! you got out with that Annie girl ! _  
_-Dad stop ! You know i didn't ! i helped her out ! she was harassed in the streets by a strage guy ! what did you expect me to do ?!_  
_-Do not lie to me eren , if you weren't dating her that means you are just a weak faggot !_

_-I hope mom doesn't hear you ..._

And he went red , rage glowing in his eyes.  
_-DONT EVER TALK ABOUT HER AGAIN ! _

And here i was , headphones in my ears , with a red cheek and multiple bruises , like always , walking down the road that led to central park .

"Now i'm four five seconds from wild'in !"

"and we got three more days till friday~"

My head was a mess , and i had nowhere to go to , since my dad kicked me out .  
"i'm just tryin' to make i back home by monday , mornin' , i swear i wish somebody would tell me , ooh that's all i want..." 

I continued walking , past central park , past the buildings , past the poeple, took the bus , the train , and walked , walked , walked ...

"Woke up an optimist . Sun was shining im positive ."

I remembered my mother's cuddles , her hair , her eyes, her smell ... 

_-Dear ! sun is shining ! its a pretty day ! let's go for a walk , wake up ! i made your favourite cookies and invited armin and mikasa over ! _

I walked. 

"then i heard you was talkin' trash . Hold me back i'm bout' to spaz' !"

_-NO SON OF MINE IS A FILTHY FAGGOT ! YOURE MOTHER WOULD BE DISGUSTED ! LEAVE THIS HOUSE ! BEFORE YOU DIRTY HER MEMORY !_

Teeth clenched , fists closed tigthly , i walked .

"Yeah im four five seconds from wildin' . and we got three more days 'till friday !"

"I'm just tryin' to make it back home by monday , mornin' "

Where is my home now ?  
"I wish somebody would tell me , ooh that's all i want !"

Tell me , where is my home now ? 

"And i know that your'e up tonigth ! "

My home is with you mom ...  
As i saw the bridge nearby i walked . 

"Thinking how could i be so selfish ..." 

What will Armin and Mikasa say ?

"But you called 'bout a thousand times ! "  
That voice is still calling me ..

"Wondering where i've been ..."  
Mom ...?  
"Now i know that your'e up tonigth ! "  
Mom..?!  
"Thinking how could i be so reckless ? "  
The border is close mom ... I'm comming ...

"But i just can't apologize ! " 

That voice still calls me ...

"I hope you can understand..."

One more step .

"If i go to jail tonigth ..."

_-From now on eren , momy wont come home ... so you stay with me ! understood ?! Never leave . _

"Promise you'll pay my bail..."

Mom ...i want to break free this time ...

" See thay want to buy my pride , but that just ain't up for sale ..."

How strange mom ... this voice that calls me doesn't looks like yours... have i forgotten you yet ?

why can't i take that step ?

Nothing waits for me anymore ... no home , no friends , no parents...

"See all of my kindness , is taken for weakness "

I just dont want to burden this world with something as useless as me ; a human that no one needs...

"Now i'm four five seconds from wildin' , and we got three more days till friday ..."

One step ...  
"I'm just tryin' to make it home by monday, mornin' "

I walked .

" I swear i wish somebody would tell me , ooh that's all i want ..."

But i dont fall ...  
I dont see my mother's eyes .  
They aren't grey .

I dont feel my mother's arms ...  
They aren't this muscular .

"Four five seconds from wildin' "

She doesn't smell like this .

"And we got three more days till friday ."

-Who are you ?  
-Got a home Brat ?  
-No.

"Just tryn'a make it home by monday, mornin'"  
-LEVI ! YOU GOT HIM ?!  
-I do shitty glasses ! Isn't it obvious ? 

I dont understand quite well but ...  
-C'mon kid...  
"I swear i wish somebody would tell me..." 

-...Let's go home .

"Ooh that's all i want..." 


End file.
